Be still...rainy day thoughts

"Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side..."

I decided going into this new year that I wouldn't be always distracted, always going. I have such a problem with focus, and my mind is going going going so much that I've found solace and rest in daily naps. As it turns out, you can't change that quickly. 

New Year New Me? Hardly. 

I think breaking habits requires real work, maybe it's so that you can prove you really want it. I do really want it! I bought planners to remind myself, to get my day scheduled...But teaching myself to be quiet deep down will be difficult. I get discouraged, and then I see the rain outside today, and decide I won't go out and "be productive" and there is hope of succeeding again. 

"Leave to thy God to order and provide."

I want time with my Master. I need to peel my eyes away from the news, from the Instagram feed, from Facebook and TV shows that stir the unrest in me. I wish I were alone in this, but I'm sure I'm not. I hope you join me in my quest for purposeful quietness and stillness.

This was a bit of a diary post, and if that was a turn-off, I apologize. Have a happy Sunday!

Elisabeth

Nature walk with some of my favorite kids

The other day my sister had an appointment and dropped off all three kids. With my renewed enthusiasm to get healthy, I decided to take a walk. I told Mikey that I had a brilliant idea, his big eyes lit up. 

"You do?" He asked.

"Yep," I replied "We should go outside!" 

"I have an even better one, we should go on a NATURE WALK."

He was right, his idea was better, so we went with it. 

Dear neighbor, I'm sorry Baby Girl loves flowers so much that she claimed your mailbox flowers. 

Buttercup didn't much like the sweet gum balls

My definite favorite. Gotta cover those ears! 

Late night honesty

Yogi brand skin detox tea.

Last night I stood in front of my mirror and cried, I guess I just needed to get it out. In my defense it was a long day. I spent from 9 AM to 4 PM trying to finish up the process to begin volunteering at the VA (mostly lost wandering through the hospital). It was all on an empty stomach except for coffee and some jalapeño cheetos, and you don't want to meet me hungry let alone when I've had to smile at everyone for hours. Add to that I had a cystic acne breakout right beside my nose, making me feel hideous, and when I stepped on the scale after starving all day, I was the same weight as days before.

Having PCOS is hard sometimes. Gracious, being a female is hard, but let's stay on topic. After a very symptomatic few months (weight gain was one of those symptoms), I decided to buckle down once the holidays were over. I visited the farmers market and Aldi and stocked up on good food to start, but now I'm left with choosing how I want to get active. Yoga is supposed to be really good for PCOS because of the stress link it has, but I loved when I used to work out and the trainer included kickboxing. I'm struggling so hard with the business(es) and all this health stuff, and even though I decided I would be brave this year, I am wondering about my ability to. 

I recently heard someone say that when you're trying to accomplish something by looking at the negatives you want to change, instead find the positive reasons. The idea is that if you end up reaching a goal that you were only doing because of all the bad feelings, you'll find that there were no positive ones and you won't be satisfied even when you reach it! I'll admit I'm not always a glass half full kinda gal, but I'm gonna try. I want to be healthy because of how much more active I can be with my nieces and nephew, because I want to be able to focus for my business, and because I want to show my little sisters that being healthy is worth working towards. 

So, yes, I cried in front of the mirror last night. But I'm gonna be just fine; it was just a speed bump. I hope you will join me in making positive changes this year! Oh, and happy new year a few days late!

Life is too short for...

When I was little, we used to visit an older lady that lived near us. My mom liked to stop by just to check on her because she didn't really have family or friends, and she wasn't physically able to get out a lot. I remember her being a very sweet talkative lady, and how she sponsored a child in another country that she loved to talk about. Sadly, the biggest thing I remember is the huge couches covered in plastic. In the heat of Georgia summers, my three sisters and I would file in behind my mom and climb up onto the huge seats, and when the conversation was over we would peel the backs of our legs off of the couches and leave. I hated those things. I always wondered what their point was, and when mom answered by saying "To keep the fabric clean." I was only left with more questions. From what I could see, this lady never hosted other people in her home. Whose dirt was she so afraid of that she would encase her sofa in that uncomfortable, shiny, protective covering?

Although as I child I asked these questions (the deep thinker developing in me), I have found myself doing the same thing in life. In preparation of the possibility that something bad would happen, I have wrapped certain talents in plastic. They can be seen, but not touched and no one wants to mention them or use them in the way they're meant to be used.

Even when I announced that I wanted to be a photographer professionally, I only posted about it on my blog and Facebook, I didn't say a word about it on Instagram (where I get the most responses to what I post) except to mysteriously point them here. I'm afraid of failure. I'm scared of what people will think or say. Well y'all, this year I've decided to live bravely. I'm going to gleefully unwrap all my dreams and prepare to have them possibly torn, poked, laughed at, and muddied, but mostly enjoyed.

Because life is too short for plastic-wrapped couches. Don't you agree?