The year in lessons

While this past year was rough in so many ways, I grew in so many more ways and learned a lot of grown-up lessons. Among these lessons were the following:
1. Big girls do cry sometimes. I cried a lot this year, this may have been one of the teariest years of my life lol. I went through a mini personal crisis which I explained in one of my posts as a reason that I stopped posting for awhile, and it turned out that it just helped me grow. I dealt with my mommy leaving me to be with my sister; I took over the house, and as a result I appreciate my mom so much more and realize that mothers that are like her are just plain awesome. Sadly, the year ended with me losing a friend of mine (and it wasn't a death,) so that was another bucket of tears. If God really does keep all the tears we cry, I suppose heaven is a swimming pool right now!
2. It's possible to "be the bigger person" almost all the time. I tried this, it wasn't easy, and I must say it's even quite painful a lot of the time. When you take the high road, you're sometimes alone :-/ As Anne of Green Gables said "If you only knew how many things I wanted to say and didn't."
3. You can accept yourself and still make everyone else happy-sorta. This year I've looked at myself and said "I need to lose weight" many times, but I think that's part of being a female. I've also said to myself "God made you, He made you with big hips, curly hair, and obvious skin problems and He said 'This is a good one!' and I can too!" In an attempt to make everyone happy I wore my hair curly all summer (to make myself happy,) and I'm planning to wear it all straight (mostly) for the winter for those who keep telling me to. I think that this year I heard more negative about my looks than ever, but I've also heard a lot positive--so I think everyone is just being more vocal in general.
4. Friends are blessings sent from above-just make sure they're friends. This year I made new friends. One of them was Taylor-my fellow crafty girl, and the one who introduced me to my latest love (sushi). I've also bonded with several bloggers (in a bloggy kinda way) and many of my fellow CAST team members on Etsy. I grew closer to some friends, and even rebuilt relationships with one or two. The most painful was letting go of someone close. You have to realize, I'm a collector (it's technically called input) and basically what this means is that for fear of needing something later, I instead keep it even if it's harming me (ex: taking up space, making me cry more than laugh, or generally being useless.) When you lose one of your "closest" friends, you feel vulnerable and like you can't trust yourself, but it's only for the best. When you are always needed, and you're never allowed to need, you know it's time to let go...
5. God is in control. I have struggled so much this year with letting go of control! Through it all God has been faithful. For those that aren't believers, this may seem ridiculous, but every time I felt things spiraling out of control I could reach out and embrace the knowledge that God was holding me up every time; I was stressing out thinking I was falling, but he was saying "I got ya baby girl!"

I am not ready  bracing for this coming year knowing that I have the tools I need to get through it successfully, and I hope you do too. In closing check out this cool blog...It was just what I needed, and it's way shorter than mine too :-) Just imagine! We were God's bright idea!

Happy YEAR People!

Elisabeth Arona

Sharing while sitting in traffic

Today was grocery shopping day. The road that leads to the Walmart I shop at is always packed. There are two lanes going each way, and it's ridiculous. The store is two or three miles away, and yet, it takes about 15 minutes to get there! As usual, I was intermittently singing Christmas songs, listening to my little sister yap in the backseat, and yelling at the driver in front of me (bad habit.) Monnie (little sister) told me that the guy in the car over waved at her. I smiled because it was an elderly man, and he had a dog in the passenger seat. Next thing I know he pulls even with my window and motions for me to roll mine down. I do, and he calls over "Jesus loves you!" Me: "Awwww, He loves you too!"
I'm the type of person that would've started a conversation with the guy right there in our cars at the red light, but he rolled his window back up after that with a smile on his face. I wanted to tell him I was a Christian, and how much I appreciated that, but he may have read it in my huge smile...the one that stayed on my face the entire ride to the store. This is why I love Christmas season. I thought, then revised it: This is why I love the South. Then revised it again to: This is why I love Christians!
For unbelievers/non-Christians, oftentimes Christmas is their happy place. It's the time of year that they must be happy, say Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone, leave extra big tips, think of others before themselves, and generally be a nice/nicer person. They get in "the spirit" of Christmas. As a Christian, all year round should be my "happy place". I have Christ in me so I'm already in the Spirit! Each of the things that Christmas is about, it's only about because of Jesus! I know, I know, you're saying "Wow, real deep thought Elisabeth!" but to me, it was a deep thought. All of this because of an elderly man with a dog, that decided he was gonna share his joy, the thing that makes him smile. He didn't know if I was a Christian or if I was an Atheist and would say "I don't believe in God old man, keep your religion to yourself!" He just went for it. I love that.
So here is what I have to say to you with a big smile: Jesus loves you! If you don't love him back, and need to hear all the great things about Him (as if His birth/Christmas isn't impressive enough) let me know...my email address is right here on my blog.

Merry Christmas!

Elisabeth Arona

Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Expectations.

The feeling is back. That sad mopey feeling...but for now it is identified as a mixture between missing the way our thanksgiving normally goes (my favorite holiday was okay, but nothing near the usual euphoric feelings on that day) the miserable black Friday, and expectations. Let me clarify.
THANKSGIVING for the last four years has been spent two states over with my sister (and before she was married, it was just with her fiancée and his family.) Generally there is a flurry of activity, every one of my sisters-and I-have a dish to make, and after it's all done then somehow my sister's brother-in-laws (all four of them) manage to show up and eat. Sometimes even a couple of our friends will come too, and after we eat we play cards or monopoly or talk and laugh, and make general noise. :-) This year for several reasons that didn't happen. My sister Sarah is in college, and my sister, brother-in-law, and their new baby are at home two states over, while the rest of us stayed here in Georgia. I started off the morning by calling my younger sister-aka partner in crime-and then went downstairs to help my mom in the kitchen. It's about time we got the two youngest involved so we put them to work chopping onions and stirring things and washing dishes. We had a good time. The dressing and macaroni (neither are my normal dishes) we quite the hit, and my apple cobbler was tasty too. Long story short: After dinner I went over a close friend's house and hung out with her and her family, then went to pick up my cousin from the airport and drop her off at our grandmother's house...Cue beginning of Black Friday.
BLACK FRIDAY. Technically it wasn't even Black Friday, but my mom had a vacuum cleaner at Walmart that she had her heart set on. Julia (other sister) and I arrive around 11:15 and I went to wait for the plastic to be torn off of the vacuum cleaners. I was tired...had run around the kitchen too long...my cell phone battery was dead so no communication with the inner circle so to speak...We didn't leave there until 1:20! I made myself a plate, checked in with my friends, and was ready for bed by 2:30.
I woke up at 5 AM to meet my friend at Michaels. I took my sister. Due to some strange miscommunication, we ended up in the same car although we had discussed that I didn't want to go to Target and she did...when we finished at Michaels I told her to go ahead to Target and I'd ride to my friend's house with my friend, and she (my sister) could pick me up as soon as she was done shopping.. Five hours later my dad was picking me up at my friends house because my sister drove home (five hours before) without picking me up. I will admit that I did have a few violent thoughts, but they will not be acted on because Christ lives in me. Lol as my sisters and I like to quote from Madea "Jesus just saved her life."
Ironically, while I was tired to the point of tears people kept telling me "calm down". I was not screaming. I didn't raise my voice. I simply vocalized in my confusion and frustration with the events surrounding my being left somewhere other than my home when I started out driving. Pardon me.
EXPECTATIONS are funny things. If you expect too much from others you get disappointed. If you expect too much from yourself it can cause a plethora of problems. If other expect too much of you and vocalize them constantly it can cause frustration, irritation, sadness etc. I don't have a happy medium. I try to give others what I would expect from an average person that loves me--or even likes me a little-but when I give and give and then only hear negative feedback it feels pointless. I will admit that although I won't go into who said it, or why it matters, or any of that nonsense, I will say that the things someone assumed about me today were inaccurate. It discouraged me. Yes, I will get over it, and yes, I am still thankful for the many blessings that are too innumerable for me to even name, but once in awhile in spite of all the wonderful things going on it's still possible to be just a little...human.
And I miss the rest of my family.

Elisabeth Arona

Organization and planning for the artsy mind :-)

For some people, organization and planning come easily. It is like walking, breathing, seeing...well, you get my drift. For me, it has never been that way. Organization and planning go against everything that I am it seems. Last year I told someone that leadership, strategic planning, and those types of things just "weren't gifts God gave me." And yet, somehow it seems to always fall on me.
I hate failing! HATE IT HATE IT! So I try to be organized and write lists, but I lose them, or I go to write something down, and can't find a pencil and suddenly see something that needs to be done. For others like me (I've found that lots of artsy minds are this way and now I feel like less of a freak) I have come up with a list of things to do to somewhat counteract this messy, unplanned side of us.
1. Think BIG. If you tend to lose whatever you write things on, buy a nice big colorful notebook (usually run a couple dollars at the most.) If you get little tag things to go on each page for certain subjects it will make your life soooo much easier. My ideas and things tend to be all over the place and having a colorful notebook to hold everything helps. Find one that has a cool little folder built in the front to hold your scraps of paper and other lists too.
2. Be bright. I mean several things by this. Try to work/plan/organize in good light. If you have bad lighting you're messing up your eyes and your temperament (it's proven that the brighter it is the better your mood.) Open windows and work in the morning if you can function in the morning (hey, some of us can't.)
3. Cover up your problems. If you have issues with organization as far as craft supplies, try using nice shoe boxes (I covered the one I use for jewelry in magazine paper), and storage containers. I've also found that breaking things down into categories even more works for me, try using ziploc bags! I keep my thread in a ziploc bag and it's almost the only thing I never lose.
4. Make a list and check it twice. I may have a lot of lists, but I've found that sometimes making two or three lists ends up being okay because I lose one or two and still have another. If you have to buy supplies first write down everything you need in general then pull out another sheet of paper with all the store names and put each item under their store name. Call me silly, but this makes it more fun for me, and keeps my attention (I have the attention span of a gnat generally.)
5. Keep it technical. If you like to be on the computer, go on the computer and write down what you need, that way you have a hard copy. Also remember that a nice computer break is needed once in awhile and beating yourself up about it is pointless :-)
6. Be bubbly. The more you talk about your plans, the more bright ideas you get. Sometimes you just need someone to bounce ideas off of...so go find someone! I've also found that occasionally I remember something I forgot when I'm talking to someone about my plans.
7. Hide from your past. Don't focus on how much you normally stink at planning or fail in your organization attempts, think instead on how much you want to be better, and how much fun you can have learning a new skill. Organization is a skill like anything else, and old habits may be hard to break but the faster you drop them the faster they are broken :-)

...and in closing...please remember to attempt this at home. I am not responsible for any beautiful shocking new space made because of this post, or any event planned after reading. 


Elisabeth Arona

Five points about selling from one who has not sold :-)

1.You are not your own worst critic. You are one of the worst, but there will always be someone who can discourage you in a much bigger way than you expected. Prepare for it, and you won't get so beat down when it happens (and it will happen.)


2. Sometimes you just need an outside party. When I say an outside party I don't mean a party that's outside :-) I mean someone who has a craft of their own, but it's not the same as your craft. Having someone who understands your need to create, but hasn't given up will re-motivate you as well and inspire you.

3. Find someone who can build a fire. My married sister is the one that lit a fire until my rear end, and it was much needed too. Find someone you look up to, and talk to them about making, selling, or whatever is standing in your way of both.


4. Just stop and think about it. Once in awhile everyone needs a new inspiration. Take a break sometimes or you'll get "burnt out" (hehe pun intended) and not want to work anymore. Sometimes slowing down, smelling the roses, and daydreaming is good for you and your shop.


5. Take your shoes off at the door. Look at your finished product as you would someone else's, with a critical eyes, and decide whether it's something that you would wear, use, buy. Do this with the prices, and every aspect of your product. When necessary you can always find your most critical, loving friend who will tell you straight up the pros and cons. 


Elisabeth Arona

Heartburn, resentment, and milk.

Today my sister woke me up from my nap (yelling my name throughout the house as sisters often do,) to ask if I could go buy some milk from the store-which she'd just come from-because it was a necessary part of dinner and she'd forgotten it. Resentment bubbled up inside of me like heartburn. I thought about going off on her (everyone knows not to disturb my naps,) I thought about how she could've asked mom or dad who were both outside, I didn't say a word...I felt sure that in a few minutes I could still say many words if I still wanted to, and I was sure I would want to. I put on my shoes, grabbed my purse, her keys, the debit card, and I said nothing. I swallowed my words just like I would tums...and just like they work on heartburn, my resentment slowly disappeared. I thought about how small of a deal it was for me to drive a mile down the road to Kroger. Admittedly I thought about how dumb it was for her to leave the milk and how much more intelligent it made me since I was going back to get it--shhh don't tell anyone that one. I thought about how dinner would be almost ready when I got back.

When I arrived home with the milk my sister expected me to be upset. It felt good to walk in quite the opposite. She smiled her "I-owe-you" smile, y'know the one we all have to smile once in awhile? Well, I smiled right back, a genuine, no-longer-sleepy smile. 

I will try this more often, it felt better than looking back on what happened and getting angry all over again, and it felt better than looking back and realizing how petty I was. Dinner was great, and I had not a HINT of heartburn.

Fixing the glare by changing the focus.

I adjusted the visor again in the car for the third time, before finally giving up, mumbling under my breathe. Why they don't make visors longer, when obviously the sun is glaring viciously off the windshield (and my eyeballs) constantly I don't know. Really maybe I was just grouchy, I decide to adjust my attitude, and in the meantime adjust my focus to out of the side window. After all the driver didn't seem to know how to drive with or without the sun, and was wearing sunglasses anyway...Focusing my eyes outside the front window wasn't helping anyone! 

In the same way lately I've been focusing so much on what isn't going right. I'm sick, I can't work on my projects and I'm always sleepy. I'm not sick and it's so hot that I'm a sweaty mess. I can't do organization and therefore can't find my scissors. I can't work fast enough to get anything made and on etsy or be in a craft show. I'm not making any sales. Well, yes, that's a lot of problems, which are all very valid points...and yet, if I can't do anything about them, I can't...maybe I should divert my time to something that will actually work. Here are a few places to divert your attention to:

1. Someone besides yourself. 

Trust me, this one really works. Find out problems that someone else has and you'll feel like a petty little fool when you finish praying for them/talking to them/caring for them. 

2. Hobby of choice

Why are people successful? Because they worry all the time? No, because they put forth time and effort and generally because they LOVE what they DO! Put in time that won't overwhelm you, the whole point of a hobby or craft is to enjoy doing it. If you're not enjoying what you're doing to make money on your own time, you might as well get a good-paying job and hate it while getting paid a decent salary...

or...

3. Walk and take in the scenery

Perhaps you're looking out the wrong window. Try taking a walk and enjoying the scenery. You'll improve your heart health, and body appearance if nothing else, and even if it just makes you look better that's one less thing to complain about! Exercising get the happy bugs running in your body (I call them happy bugs because I can never remember what the happy feeling name is, but I promise this is true) and unless you're some major grouch it'll really improve your outlook on life. 

So, after teaching myself some valuable lessons--believe me, I was complaining as I sat down with the laptop to write this (the AC is broken and a body needs air especially in the SOUTH!)-I think that to fix the glare we must simply change the focus. This is true whether we are talking about taking pictures, sitting in the passenger side in direct sunlight, or a glare on a face when life is bad. 

Elisabeth

Seams and seam-rippers.

When I was interning at a lingerie shop in June of last year, I started out mostly in the alterations room. Since I was a fashion design major, they decided to teach me how to alter bras. The secret of alteration is...(wait for it)...to change something and yet make it look as it was before or better. Usually when altering bras, we were just altering the size of the band; doing that required good eyes, a seam ripper, and patience. The sewing on the straps of bras is very overdone (in my opinion since I was taking the stitches apart.) A zigzag stitch would be used and would be sewn in such a way that it appeared to be one looong thick stitch almost like embroidery (check out a bra strap near where it fastens.)

Anyway, my job was to take apart the part of the bra where all of this stitching was. Because all of the stitches were so together, you had two ways, the slow way, or the fast way, of getting my job done. The slow way would be to pick at each stitch and rip them one by one; this could take forever since the stitches were tight and so close together. The fast way would be to slip the seam ripper underneath the stitches with some force, and rip them all apart together--if they were too tight you'd have to do it the slow way. If you want to keep the fabric intact you also had to be very very careful, and occasionally--alright at least once a week, I would rip my finger with the same tool I was using to rip the seams and start dripping blood everywhere, but that's beside the point. Bear with me, there is a point to this long monologue. 

As Christians we have many sisters and brothers in Christ, especially close to us are the ones in our church, or that we communicate with often, or most importantly, pray with. The bible tells us that where two or three are gathered in His name, there He is in the midst! Don't feel like I am being crude when I say that we are like those stitches on the bra, close-knit, and very dependent on each other for our spiritual well-being whether we realize it or not. Sometimes to break us apart a "seam-ripper" will come along and pick us off one by one, the seam-ripper can be in the form of a backbiter (gossiper,) an unbeliever out to have a good time, or even hobbies that are great when in it's proper place.

We have an advantage because unlike actual stitches we have the ability to be restored. As brothers and sisters in Christ we should stick close to one another, praying for each other, and treating each other as we would treat a part of ourselves. So often it's not the "seam ripper" that tears us apart so much as us allowing ourselves to "loosen up" and leave room to be drawn away and cut.

So cherish those of like faith, they are the ones who understand what you are going through, and the ones who intercede for you. Once you're snatched away from your fellow-believers it's so easy to get swept up and thrown away and it may be hard to get back to your original place, but together we are a part of a useful and often beautiful creation.

Elisabeth

It's all in the way you look at it...

The wind was blowing today, and even though that meant that when I went outside to snap these few pictures I came back in sneezing, somehow the breeze was okay. These same trees were outside yesterday, as were the flowers, but yesterday I didn't even notice them...Today I thought of how beautiful they were with the wind blowing through the leave. 

What happened yesterday that I didn't take the time to notice all the beauty around me? Nothing about my eyes was different, I could see like I do today, but I didn't feel joy in it like I did today. Life is all about attitude. I had to write about this because today I've seen so many things that reminded me of how I should treasure every day. A show I watched had a lady dying, and she made the statement "I didn't waste a single year of my 72 years." Something about that struck me, and I said "Wow...that's a big claim to make. It must be wonderful to not look back and regret that year that 'nothing went right'." Yes, the show was fiction, but later on facebook I saw a status someone had put up about how as children we see things as exciting and beautiful and once we grow up we're constantly too busy to pay attention.

The bible says "This is the day which the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it". Did you notice that it said nothing about whether the day was sunny and warm or cold and dreary? God made all of our days, and I'm going to make a conscious effort to rejoice in each and every one.